


Empty

by LemonRain



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-03-07 04:54:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3161996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonRain/pseuds/LemonRain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't own these characters.<br/>I'm not profiting from this.</p><p>Also, if you have any triggers relating to pregnancy, hospitals, etc... May not want to read this. <br/>I write for therapeutic reasons.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own these characters.  
> I'm not profiting from this.
> 
> Also, if you have any triggers relating to pregnancy, hospitals, etc... May not want to read this.   
> I write for therapeutic reasons.

Empty gestational sac.

The words keep echoing in Darcy's head as she slowly walks back to the apartment she shares with Steve. At 10 weeks pregnant, there should be an embryo growing inside her. A tiny boy or girl. Instead, there is an "empty gestational sac".

From all outward indications, her pregnancy is normal. Was normal. She has morning sickness, her breasts are tender, she is craving crazy amounts of strange food. 

The doctor was very sympathetic. He explained that yes, she had been pregnant, but at some point, the pregnancy stopped growing. She would need to consider her options. She can wait for her body to naturally take care of it, she can take a pill to to hasten the expulsion, or she can have it surgically removed. Darcy asked for some time to think about it, then she slipped from the office. 

Darcy feels numb. No crying. No sadness. Nothing. 

She unlocks the door to the apartment, knowing no one is home. Steve is on a mission, but will be back tonight. 

Shouldn't she feel something? 

***************************

"Darcy?" Steve calls, "where are you?" 

"In the bedroom." she calls softly.

"You ok babe?" Steve walks into the bedroom and looks concerned. Darcy is laying on the bed fully clothed.

"Yeah, I'm ok." she replies. 

"Good." Steve looks relieved. The bed dips as he sits next to Darcy. "Look, I know we aren't supposed to buy anything for the baby yet, but I couldn't resist this." He pulls out a small stuffed bear. "Every kid needs a teddy bear right?" 

Darcy takes the bear from Steve and looks at it. 

How can she break his heart? Darcy starts shaking as the reality starts to sink in. She clutches the bear to her chest. 

"Darcy?" Steve asks, "what's going on?" 

Darcy doesn't answer, she can't answer. The pain she didn't feel before hits her right in the chest tenfold. She can't tell him. He is going to hate her. She failed him. 

She has to tell him. 

Tell him that the baby is gone. Tell him that she failed him and their child. 

How can she tell him?

The pain in her chest is expanding and wrapping around her entire body. 

She knows Steve is talking to her, but she can't hear him. All she hears is her heart beating in her ears. All she can feel is pain. 

She can't breathe. 

Her world fades to black.

******************************

The steady beeping is annoying as hell. Darcy shifts in bed, trying to find the damn alarm to turn it off without opening her eyes. She feels a hand tighten around hers. 

"Darcy?" she hears Steve whisper brokenly, "Baby? Wake up, honey, please?" 

Everything comes flooding back and Darcy gasps as her eyes fly open. The steady beeping from the heart monitor increases erratically as she sees Steve clutching her hand tears running down his face. 

"Steve," she whispers, "the baby is gone. I'm so sorry." Her throat closes as she feels the tears start to burn her eyes. "I'm sorry I failed you Steve. I'm so sorry." She starts to sob.

"Darce," Steve's grip tightens, "I'm the one who's sorry. I should have known something was wrong when I got home. You never just lay in bed. It was obvious that you were upset by something, but I was too blind to see it. I gave you that damn bear and set this whole thing in motion." 

"Where's the bear?" Darcy asks frantically, "where is it?" 

"In my bag. When the doctor told me what happened, I thought about throwing it away, but I couldn't." Steve tells her. "I'm so sorry Darcy. I never meant to hurt you." 

"Can I have it?" Darcy asks, "Please?" 

Steve looks unsure, but reaches his free hand down into his bag and pulls out the bear, handing it to her. 

She looks at it for a moment, then hugs it to her chest, crying. 

"Why would you think you are a failure?" Steve asks.

"Our baby died." Darcy won't look up as she continues, "Obviously, there is something wrong with me. My body didn't do its job, the baby stopped developing and it died." She tries to pull her hand away, but Steve holds tight. 

"Stop." he commands, "Don't even think that. Darcy, it didn't work this time. It may not work next time. It may never work." He drops to his knees by her hospital bed, "Darcy, I know we both want children, but I want to be with you more than anything. If we are never able to have children, I still want to be with you. You are my life Darcy." 

"Steve," Darcy starts, but he interrupts her. 

"If you want to try again later, we will try again later. If you don't ever want to try again, we won't. I'm in this relationship to be with YOU." Steve's eyes are full of love. "I'm grieving too Darce, but I know I can't compare my grief to yours. I can't imagine how you feel." 

"Empty, Steve." she whispers, "I feel empty." 

"Oh Babe." Steve slips into the hospital bed with her and gathers her into his strong arms, "I'll help you through this. Anything you need or want. I love you so much." 

"I love you so much Steve Rogers." she replies, "and I'll help help you too." 

She knows it's going to be a long road, and painful at times, but they can make it. 

She knows they can.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kind comments. 
> 
> This is where my story and Darcy's diverge. 
> 
> This story is now hers, not mine. 
> 
> hugs to you all.

Darcy puts on a brave face for the world. It's been four weeks since she received the devastating news. Four long weeks of feeling pregnant, but knowing there is no baby. Four weeks of waiting for the bleeding to start. For the official end of her dream.

She can't bring herself to take the pill to purge the failed pregnancy from her body. She won't have a surgical procedure to remove it. She wants this to happen naturally.

  
Well, if she is honest with herself, she doesn't want this to happen at all. She wants to be pregnant with Steve's child. She wants to be a mother. She doesn't want to have failed Steve. She does feel like a failure. Steve was so excited about the baby. It's all he talked about. She wishes with all of her heart that the ultrasound was wrong and she is actually pregnant.

Darcy doesn't let anyone know she hasn't started bleeding yet. She hasn't kept any of her appointments with her doctor, finding excuse after excuse to cancel the appointments. The doctors office doesn't have Steve's number so he has no idea. She isn't exactly lying to him. He asks how she is feeling, asks if she is ok. She tells him that she is fine, feeling **_fine_**.

God, she hates that word.

He seems to accept it, he looks at her closely when they talk, but she smiles and kisses him, then finds a way to distract him. She asks him about his day, shifts the subject away from her and towards him. He doesn't push her to talk about it, lets her control the conversation.

Jane is sympathetic, but has her own concerns. She has been traveling back and forth from Asgard arranging her upcoming wedding to Thor. Darcy isn't about to burden her with anything.

Darcy is able to deflect questions easily. If asked, she simply says that she doesn't want to talk about it. No one pushes. She is becoming a master of " ** _fine_** ". Everyone is walking on eggshells around her.

The teddy bear Steve brought for the baby is in her bag. She doesn't go anywhere without it. She carries it in her arms when she is alone. It stays under her pillow when she sleeps.

When the fever develops, Darcy tells them it's just a bug. That she's **_fine_**

The abdominal pain is also attributed to a bug. She's **_fine_**.

When she passes out in the lab, Jane finally sees she isn't **_fine_**.

When Jane calls Steve, he races to the medical wing. He is told Darcy is septic from the failed pregnancy. Her body can't seem to let go of their dream, and that is causing a massive infection. He is confused, wondering why Darcy told him everything is **_fine_** when obviously, nothing is **_fine_**. The woman he loves is laying in a hospital bed, unconscious. She isn't **_fine_**. He doesn't understand why she let it go for so long. He knows she was upset about losing the pregnancy, Of course she was upset, but she never wanted to talk about it. Why didn't she tell him? He just doesn't understand. He doesn't want to be mad at Darcy, but he is.

He is furious.

He isn't _**fine**_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really edit or proofread this a whole lot. Sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> Oh, I don't remember if I posted this or not, but I don't own any Marvel Characters, I make no money from this. I'm just using them to try and feel better.


	3. Chapter 3

"Why won't she wake up?" Steve asks, frustrated. He is sitting at Darcy's bedside, holding her hand. She has been unconscious for over 48 hours and Steve has never felt more helpless in his life. 

"She has a massive infection that has gone systemic." Bruce Banner explained softly, "The infection that started in her uterus has basically infiltrated her blood stream. We are giving her our strongest antibiotics, and her body is slowly responding, but it takes time." he goes on, "If she doesn't pass the remnants of the pregnancy in the next 24 hours, we will have to perform an evacuation of her uterus or she may lose any chance of another pregnancy." 

"What can I do?" he asks, "I need to do something." 

"Talk to her, let her hear your voice." Bruce replies, "Studies have shown that comatose patients can still hear and feel those around them."

Steve nods and turns back to Darcy, "Anything she needs."

Bruce lays a hand on Steve's shoulder, then quietly exits the room, leaving Steve alone with his girl. Tears sting his eyes as he gazes at the pale form on the bed. She hasn't moved the whole time he has been there. He and the nurse move Darcy around on the bed every few hours to keep her from developing any bedsores, and Steve keeps hoping the movement will help rouse her, but no luck so far. 

"Darce, you need to wake up." Steve strokes the back of her hand, "I really want you to come back. I need you to come back to me." 

A soft knock on the door interrupts Steve and he looks up long enough to see Jane poke her head into the room. "Darcy wake up yet?" she asks softly, looking at her friend. 

"Not yet." Steve answers.

"Oh, Steve, she said she was ok." Jane starts to cry softly, "If I had any idea..." Jane walks over to Darcy's bed. 

"No one knew," Steve answers shortly, "she didn't tell anyone, including me."

"I don't understand," Jane smooths a stray hair from Darcy's face, "I'm her best friend. Why wouldn't she tell me?"

"I don't know Jane." he looks back at Darcy, "We just have to wait until she wakes up."

"I"m sorry Steve," Jane apologizes, "I know this is awful for you."

"No, I'm sorry Jane," Steve sighs, "I'm angry at Darcy and I'm being rude to you." 

"Angry at Darcy?" Jane asks, "Why?" 

"I want to know why she didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on." Steve replies, not taking his eyes off Darcy, "Why she kept this from me. I don't understand." 

"I don't either, Steve." Jane answers, "When she wakes up, tell her I came by?"

"Of course," he smiles, "Thank you for coming."

Jane slips out the door, leaving Steve alone with Darcy. 

Steve's heart clenches as he looks at her, "I could have lost you. You can't leave me Darce. You are so important to me, the most important person in my life." 

Steve looks at Darcy for any sign that she can hear him, but she hasn't moved. Her breathing is still quiet and even, eyes are still closed, lashes laying on her pale cheeks. He raises a hand and runs his thumb over her bottom lip. "Darce, I need you to come back to me. Please baby, I need you. I need you to open your eyes, I need you to wake up."

Nothing. 

"Dammit Darce, what were you thinking?" Steve asks her still form, "Why didn't you tell me what was going on? I love you so much, but I am so angry with you right now. Do you have any idea how scared I was when I got the call?" He drops her hand and stands up. "You shut me out Darcy. How many times did you lie to me?" Turning from her, he looks blindly out the window, "I've never lied to you. Not once." He takes a shuddering breath and turns back to Darcy. He walks back over to her and sits down, taking her hand in his again, he whispers, "I love you."

He reaches up to brush tuck a lock of hair behind her ear when he sees it. 

A tear sliding down her cheek. 

He captures the tear with a fingertip, "Darce, can you hear me?" Hope flares in his chest. 

Another tear follows the first, then another. 

"Don't cry, Darcy." Steve whispers in anguish, "Please don't cry, just wake up for me. Open those beautiful eyes and let me see you." 

Darcy moaned softly and her eyes fluttered open, "Steve?" she whispered. 

"Yeah, I'm right here." Steve replies softly, squeezing her hand.

"What happened?" she asks.

"Darcy, you have an infection that spread to your entire body. You are very sick." he explains. 

Darcy looks down at her hands, tears falling again. "Oh."

"Hey," Steve lifts Darcy's chin so he can look into her eyes, "We are going to talk about this later. Right now, I want you to focus on getting well."

"Steve, I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you." Darcy whispers, "I hate what happened, I wanted this baby so much." She starts to cry. 

"I know, sweetheart." Steve soothes, "I wanted it too, but I want you more. Please don't ever lie to me again. Now shove over."

Darcy looks at him in mild confusion, tears rolling down her face, but moves over. Steve climbs over the bed rails and settles in next to her, carefully pulling her into his arms. "You need to rest and so do I." he says firmly, "I can't sleep when you aren't with me so I'm sleeping here." 

Darcy sniffs forlornly, then relaxes against him. They settle in, careful of her IV and turn on the TV. 

"What do you want to watch?" he asks, "You know Stark wired the med bay with every channel and movie known to mankind."

"Princess Bride or Labyrinth." she replies, "You pick."

"Princess Bride it is." he locates the movie and hugs Darcy close. 

"We are going to be ok." Steve whispers, "I promise."

"I love you Steve."

"Love you too Darce."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. Sorry it's taken so long. My Muse was being very fickle and I'll admit this was kind of hard to write. 
> 
> If you see any errors, please point them out and I will try to correct them. 
> 
> **I will also be updating my other stories soon**
> 
> Thank you for reading!

It starts as a small smear of pink.

Darcy is drying off after a quick shower when she sees the pink smear on her towel. Looking at it, she feels her heart stutter. "Oh..." She exhales and a tear escapes from her eye.

_This is it then._

She finishes drying off and wraps her hair in a towel. She slips into a fresh hospital gown, then creeps over to her hospital bed. Steve is sleeping in the recliner next to it. She pauses to look at him. He looks so peaceful, slumped in the too small chair. A wave of despair washes over Darcy as she thinks back over the last few days. Her hand drifts to her abdomen, stopping to rest on the slight swell where her baby, their baby, should be safely growing.

It seems like a bad dream.

She desperately wants to wake up.

"I'm sorry Steve," She whispers, still looking at him, "I'm so sorry."

Blue eyes open at her words and the momentary confusion is replaced with concern. "Hey, You ok Darce?" Steve asks softly, rising from the chair.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Darcy looks away and starts to towel dry her hair.

"Don't tell me that you're fine." his stern voice shocks Darcy. "Last time you were "fine", you wound up here." His jaw is set and eyes narrow. He is in "Captain" mode.

"Then what do you want me to say?" she whirls around to face him, "I don't know what to say." Her voice trails off, then she takes a shuddering breath.

His face softens back into "Steve" as he looks at Darcy, "Baby, I'm sorry. I just want you to talk to me. Please don't shut me out."

"I'm not trying to Steve," Darcy takes a deep breath, "this just really sucks. I wanted our baby so much."

Steve walks around the bed and pulls her into his arms, "I know. I did too, but I want you more."

Darcy inhales the comforting scent of him and relaxes. She slips her arms around his waist and whispers, "Are we going to be ok?"

"Oh Darce, we are going get through this. Let's focus on getting you better." He gently places his fingers under her chin and raises her face to his. He softly kisses her, then wipes her tears. "C'mon, let's get you comfortable."

Raising her arms, she wraps them around his neck. She smiles up at him, "How did I get so lucky?"

"I'm the lucky one." Steve replies, "Look at who loves me." He swoops down and captures her lips again, "I love you so damn much."

"I love you too."

The cramp takes her by surprise. Her eyes widen and she gasps, bending over.

"Darcy? Baby?" He grasps her by the waist, steadying her, "What is it?"

"It hurts." She grabs his hand and squeezes, the pain increases and her knees get weak. Realization dawns on her face, "Oh, I think it's starting."

He lifts her into his arms and holds her close. "I've got you Baby, let's get you into bed." He kisses the top of her head and gently lays her on the bed. He slips his arms from beneath her and covers her with the blanket. "What can I do? What do you need?" He grasps her hand and holds it tight in his.

"Stay." she pants, trying to breathe through the pain, "Please stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

The wave of pain crests and then starts to recede. "Fuck, that hurt." she pants.

"Do you want me to get Bruce?" He asks.

"Can it just be us for a little while?" She looks at him with wide, scared eyes, "I don't want anyone else here right now."

"Promise me that you will tell me if the pain gets too bad."

"I promise." she sniffs.

"Ok," he answers, "just you and me."

"Distract me. Wamt to watch a movie?" she asks.

"Just remember your promise."

"Steve, start a movie." Darcy nods, "I want Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It always makes me laugh."

He reluctantly lets go of her hand and grabs the remote. "As you wish."

"Wrong movie you big dork." she smiles. She scoots over to the side of the bed and pulls back the covers, "Get up here and bring my bear."

Steve grabs the bear and joins her. He hands her the bear which she cuddles to her chest. He lifts his arm so she can snuggle up to him. Darcy shifts her body and lays her head on his chest. He finds the movie on the queue and starts it. He keeps his eyes on the screen, but is only paying attention to Darcy. When he notices that she is tensing up, he makes his breathing slow and even, trying to help Darcy keep her breathing steady. When she relaxes, he gently rubs her back. He is grateful that she is able to laugh at Ford Prefect and his towel, Marvin's pessimism, and Arthur Dent's confusion. The pain seems to increase in frequency and intensity if the white knuckled hand gripping his shirt is any indication. One of the nurses comes in to check on Darcy. She assesses her vital signs and hooks up the IV. "My name is Beth. I'm just hooking you up to some fluid to keep you hydrated and to keep your IV access open. Can I bring you anything for the pain?"

"No." Darcy answers, "I'm doing ok, all things considered." Steve pulls her closer.

Beth pats her hand and says, "Just hit the call button if you need us. I'll leave you two alone."

"Thank you." Darcy calls softly as Beth reaches the door.

"You're welcome." She pauses for a moment, "I can't tell you that I know what your going through, but I'm so sorry for your loss."

Steve nods and kisses Darcy's head. "Thank you again." He says.

Beth closes the door behind her.

They settle back and continue to watch the movie.

Trillion has just realized that she loves Arthur when Darcy raises her head from Steve's chest.

"I think I may need Bruce now." Darcy whispers, "It really hurts."

Steve kisses her forehead and squeezes her hand as he slips out of the bed. "I'll go get him."

Darcy nods, then tenses. A look of pained surprise crosses her face. "Oh, oh!" She exclaims, her hand dropping to her abdomen. "Something happened, Steve." Darcy pales, "I felt a pop. Don't go. Please."

Steve hits the call button and drops to the chair by her bed. "I'm not going anywhere." He says, grabbing her hand.

"I think I'm leaking." Darcy giggles weakly. "Why am I laughing? What the Hell is wrong with me?"

"Darce?" Steve asks.

"I really think I need the doctor." Darcy slurs, "I don't feel so good." Her eyes slide shut as she lays back on the bed.

"He's coming, hang in there Sweetheart." Steve can feel her pulse racing, "Hang on."

Another cramp seizes Darcy and she tenses. "Steve? Are you still here?" Her voice is weaker, sweat breaking out on her forehead. "Something's wrong."

Standing, he leans over her, "I'm here. Open your eyes Baby, I'm right here."

A knock sounds on the door. It opens and Bruce walks into the room. "Hey guys." He takes one look at Darcy and hurries over to the bedside. Picking up her wrist, he checks her pulse. "Darcy, tell me what you feel."

Darcy doesn't respond. Bruce can see that her breathing is shallow. "Steve, talk to me."

Steve relays the past few hours events and Bruce nods. "I need to examine her. Do you want to stay?"

"I'm not leaving her." Steve replies, "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure," Bruce answers. "But it looks like shock."

He grabs some gloves and puts them on. Lowering the head of the bed, he pulls back the blanket and gasps.

The sheet is covered in bright red blood.

"Shit!" Bruce hits the emergency button. "How long has she been bleeding?"

"I didn't know she was bleeding." Steve answers, "We've been watching a movie for the past 90 minutes or so. She was having some pain, contractions I guess, then she said she felt a pop. That's when I hit the call button."

The door bursts open and the room is immediately flooded with light and nurses.

"Steve, you have to stand back." Bruce looks him in the eye. "Let us do our job."

"I'm not leaving." Steve grinds out, standing firm.

"No one is telling you to leave, but you have to move." Bruce is firm in his statement and Steve lets go of her hand and moves away from Darcy. One of the nurses checks her vital signs.

"78 over 40, Dr Banner." She tells him. "Pulse is 183, respirations are 28. Oxygen level is 84 percent on room air."

"Looks like a hemorrhage." Bruce points to a nurse by the door, "Have them prep OR 4. Tell them we have a hemorrhage and get blood ready." He looks at Steve, "You have to wait. You can wait here or you can go to the waiting room. You can't go with us."

"I'll wait here." Steve tells him. "Is she going to be ok?"

Bruce looks at him and replies, "We will do everything we can. She is young and strong. I'll have the staff keep you posted." They unlock the wheels and cover Darcy back up. "Steve, I'll take care of her."

Steve nods and collapses into the chair to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably TMI, but I'm currently having a miscarriage and writing is very cathartic.
> 
> Not looking for sympathy, just feel the need to explain.


End file.
